“Women are now seen as
equally or more competent as men" finds a 2020 meta-analysis led by Eagly.
(American
Psychological Association by Amy Novotney Date created: March 23, 2023)
Yet, we
still have barriers to break through, some of which can be eliminated with specific,
behavioural tweaks!
As we
know maintaining resilience, showing creativity, and being a determined female entrepreneur
or businesswoman are all necessary traits for success.
Let’s
examine the more subtle behaviours that could be sabotaging your savvy!
- Head
tilting – your intention may be to demonstrate listening and empathy. When done frequently, it weakens your gravitas
- Fidgeting – also
known as ‘adrenaline leakage points’ may communicate stress/nervousness/lack of confidence/lack
of knowledge
- Resting
poker-face – appearing uninterested or too serious will get you into trouble (watch out
for raised eyebrows too!!!)
- Upward
inflection – ending your sentences sounding like a question will diminish the power
of your message
- Over explaining - giving
too much detail or repeating, people will stop listening or become impatient
Let’s
now examine what you CAN do to channel your inner Tina Turner and get
more buy-in (from counterparts of all genders!)
1.
Reduce conflict in your life
by eliminating this one word!
Using the word ‘But’ will frequently increase defensiveness in others, even
when you’re delivering good news! If you want to be able to say what you need
to say (especially bad news), without the other getting argumentative or resisting,
replace ‘but’ with one of the alternatives below:
· And
· Yet
· On the
other hand
· At the
same time
· Unfortunately
(especially useful if you’re preparing them for bad news)
· OR simply
start a new sentence
For this to become automatic, remove BUT from your speech, emails, and
texts.
2. Neutral Stance: Use this standing pose to
neutralise aggressive behaviour.
For those yogis out there, think ‘mountain pose.’ Feet planted on the
ground, hip-width apart, head straight and hands relaxed by your sides, (this
last part is surprisingly difficult for many of us!) This stance is powerful
because it communicates, confidence, competence, and openness without you
appearing defensive or aggressive.
Watch the first part of this video and see the incredible effects.
Practise this at the bus-stop, in a lift or queue; make sure your hands are
empty.
3.
Discover why a simple smile
will transform any exchange!
For many women we’ve had the shared experience of strangers commanding us
to smile! This used to make me crazy. What I’ve discovered is that when we
smile, the other person receives a message “today you’re safe” and as a result,
the exchange will more likely be positive. So be generous with your smiles and
witness the magic.
4.
Master this voice technique to
command greater gravitas.
The technique is called the downward inflection. It simply means lowering
the pitch of your voice at every pause, (even if it’s in the middle of your
sentence).
Think BBC reporter-style! The opposite is the upward-inflection or ‘Valley
girl’ tone where everything sounds like a question.
A lot of nice people (particularly women) are unconsciously socialised to
use this to sound approachable and non-threatening. “My name’s Amy? I’m a
coach?”
On the contrary, it instantly sabotages our credibility. It’s important to
combine this with tip no.3, add that warm smile and conquer those cantankerous
colleagues!
5.
Deliver difficult &
delicate messages successfully.
- Apply the above skills
- Prepare in advance what
you want to say & practise it with a close colleague (who can give you
objective feedback) - be clear & kind
- Give them a heads-up, ask
if they’re willing to discuss the matter
- Talk about the observed
behaviours, your feelings, your needs, make requests and ask if they have
requests
- Organise a follow-up
meeting to check in with them
Bonus tip: Make sure you are both fed and watered before the meeting and
choose a quiet, private space or go for a walk, move slowly!
Practise each of these 5 skills 3-5 minutes per day in low-stress
situations for a minimum of 8 weeks. You may choose to practise one skill at a
time. You’ll eventually feel empowered even when entering those challenging corporate
arenas.
Having
an all-female team for my own business, I know that when women come together, amazing
things happen, so be sure to share these techniques with your friends. My hope is that these tips will allow you to step into your professional
powerhouse and get the results you desire!
“When more women are
empowered to lead, everyone benefits. Decades of studies show women leaders
help increase productivity, enhance collaboration, inspire organizational
dedication, and improve fairness.”
(American Psychological
Association By Amy Novotney Date created: March 23,
2023)
Happy Partnering,
